Sunday 19 June 2011

5 min blog post - #localgovcamp

I can't write it all. Honest, there's too much learning I took away on both a personal and professional level to do that. So lets try bitesize.

We're pushing boundaries at work at the moment on so many fronts. Internal comms, external comms, internal collaboration, external collaboration, new campaign styles, new websites (that cos nowt), new platforms, new, new, new.

I am terrified.

Or rather, I was terrified until yesterday. Then I sat in @curiousc's agile session and suddenly I understand. I have never ever ever had to fail. I have worked x6 6 to ensure I haven't. I cannot do that in this post and I am terrified. Utterly. Have been paralysed by it, truth be told.

So thank you Ms C, because thanks to you, I recognised that, and now I know what to do. Just be up front and warn people if there's a slightly higher risk of something going wrong, if no one else has tried something and we're trailblazing, or if I've got no personal experience of something.

Problem solved. I am embarrassed, quite quite embarrassed to confess that I have been utterly crippled by this unidentifiable feeling for months. I thought I had to know everything. 

I've also never failed, because I have always just tried harder to ensure it couldn't happen. And also, grades played a part too. The first time it happens, it will be horrible and I'm not looking forward to it, but I now understand that for other people it's expected and normal and permitted and I respect them enormously, and so I must learn to permit and allow it from myself.


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