24 hours

In conclusion in the interim: there is absolutely no point in worrying about what might or might not be. I might be out of a job at some point in the next 12 months. I might not. Some of the fear and insecurity is being generated by an unfortunate mix of incredible stress at home (the fall out of the previously blogged about NHS shenanigans on the 'friend' and his mother continue to be horrid and understandably so) combined with a complete bolt out of the blue discussion with a doctor resulting in some 'interesting' tests which I'm rather hoping are negative (nothing life threatening but er....yes). 

There's other stuff I wont bore you with. Why is this here? I am human. I am struggling with the constant ever shifting landscape of local government, the 'industry' I work in right now. I think to pretend I were not would be pathetic and cowardly and so I'm not going to. 

So how do you deal with this? Well you can either let it pull you down or cheer the hell up, frankly. Batten down the hatches, head down and determinedly get as much damn well done as possible before the spreadsheet says no and you're gone. 

So. I am involved with a sudden emergent movement to bring local gov camps to the North West of England and am super excited about it. I am possibly actually really going to set up a social enterprise, quietly, simply, with no complications and simply JFDI and get out there and share what I know for free. With passion and enthusiasm. I spent this morning talking to our Speech and Language team about parent driven digital support networks and information feeds as well as breaking down barriers to entry to their services by being 'more human' and this afternoon yet again discussing the lack of agility in local government but responding with solutions.

In actual fact, I spent the afternoon identifying where we are now in a number of different areas relating to young people, identifying challenges and gaps and then identifying solutions. And everything I identified as a problem or challenge or gap I also identified a deliverable solution for.

Deliverable with resource, that is.

Me. Or someone like me.

So I suppose you might say, I spent the afternoon talking myself into a job. Except I didn't see it like that at the time and those who know me, really know me, will know that that's the truth. And someone else could very well come and deliver those needs I identified.

But answer me this. If someone is good enough to identify the problems, and then immediately list all the solutions, should they not then be good enough to actually deliver the solutions? 

Am I good enough? Am I performing? Am I running at full speed? Have I taken the brakes off?

I can't answer that - it's not appropriate to. But I do know I came home feeling achieved. Like I'd contributed. Like I'd made a difference somehow.

It felt good.